Still Single? Overcome This Little Known Myth
Are you always single or in dead end relationships while others around you seem to always find a great guy and keep him? Not only do you wish your relationships were more like theirs, you deserve them to be! What causes the difference between dead end relationships and lasting ones?
I’ve recently experienced something that might help answer this question. Six weeks ago, I gave birth to my son. Recently, I’ve begun to figure out this tiny guy and how to meet his needs. It’s interesting. In becoming a mother again, I’ve been reminded what mother’s instincts are all about and what they are not.
I used to think that mother’s instincts were magical powers given to a new mom that gave her the capability to know all of her baby’s needs and how to solve them. You can envision my disappointment and embarrassment when I didn’t receive this special power when either of my kids were born. On the contrary, I felt very lost and incapable. What I did inherit with childbirth was a deep desire to nurture my baby and care for him no matter what happened. I’d do anything for him, including turn my life upside down to accommodate a new baby.
After talking with many other moms, it’s become obvious to me that no mother has this instinct that allows her to be all knowing. Moms are usually a lot like me. We make plenty of mistakes, but we want to do the very best for our kids from the moment we hold our first child in our arms.
In my professional experience as a relationship advisor, I have seen the same pattern in people’s romantic relationships. Everyone seems to have the instinct to desire a good relationship. Yet, just as moms don’t know everything about being a mother by instinct, we often don’t know how to create a good relationship by instinct either. This part must be learned by asking advice from those who know how relationships work. By doing so, we have the ability to begin applying that natural desire and end up in the relationships we all naturally want to be in.
So, when you find yourself discouraged because you are single or at the end of another relationship disaster, don’t be discouraged. You have the desire and instincts it takes to be in a good relationship. You just need the guidance to build what you wish into reality. Today is the day to cease doing it alone and ending up in the same dead end pattern. Now is the time to gain the courage to ask for help. Once you know the skills necessary and begin applying them, you\’ll be ready to find and nourish the relationship you deserve to have.